Star Wars: Not just for breakfast anymore

After reading Henry Jenkin's essay "Quentin Tarantino's Star Wars" I can now see how a simple movie can become a lifestyle. Five minutes ago I was staring at the title of this essay blissfully ignorant of George Lucas' plan to rule my life with a strangle-hold not unlike Darth Vader's and now it baffles me that I have never noted such thinly veiled plans for world conquest. There are Star Wars movies, books, games, toys, clothing, magazines, and I'm pretty sure there was a breakfast cereal at one point.

But of course Lucas isn't the only one practicing such all-encompassing business models; the Japanese have perfected it. Take a look at the Final Fantasy franchise which has one of histories most ironic names ever since there is nothing final about it. Back in the 90's they were nothing but video games. Now the Final Fantasy name can be seen upon CDs, books, clothing, toys, and even a line of soft drinks with such names as "Potion" or "Mega Elixir". What will they think of next? My guess is "buster sword" over-sized condoms.

After mastering the art of the franchise the Japanese decided it took too long and so they began making cartoons just so they can put out a new toy line. If you don't believe me take a look at teapuppies.com. I am fairly certain that if you slow down and reverse the audio you can hear the puppies saying "BUY ALL OUR PLAY SETS AND TOYS!" or "DESTROY THE EVIL AMERICAN IMPERIALISTS!"

The most ludicrous aspect of this new breed of corporate monstrosities is that they will go to any length to stamp out any fan-created fiction whether it be short stories or spin-off games. One such instance of this would be the fansite Chrono Compendium. Here you can find anything pertaining to Square-Enix's cult classic Chrono franchise. The website and its administrators were slapped with a cease and desist after they began work on "Chrono Trigger Resurrection", a 3D remake of several scenes from the classic "Chrono Trigger" game. This project was a $15,000 investment aimed only at creating a new look at an old title. There were no plans to profit from this project which was nothing more than a few short movies. The project had received 10,000,000 hits and the trailer had been downloaded 7,000,000 times. Why would Square-Enix be so eager to crush such an ambitious project which posed no threat to them financially? Some have postulated that they feared such a resurgence of popularity would have put pressure on them to create a sequel. To this I ask why the hell would you not make a sequel? If anything hire the people working on "Resurrection".

Anyways if you have learned anything from this post please head my warning: the next time you see a box of Yoda O's or Cloud Strife Crunch, consider whether or not you want your children to be wearing Darth Maul Diapers in the near future. One other thing to keep in mind is to give the population a chance. Don't rely on monstrous enterprises concerned with little more than lining their own pockets. Check out something on youtube; there might be the next Spielberg hiding in there somewhere. You won't know if you don't look.